This week was all about Archery Room 101. Room 101 is a place introduced in the novel “Nineteen Eighty-Four” by George Orwell. It’s a torture chamber in the Ministry of Love in which the Party attempts to subject a prisoner to his or her own worst nightmare, fear or phobia. On the TV show “Room 101”, celebrities are interviewed and asked to list their pet peeves, which are then condemned to the unseen room at the discretion of the host. So Archery Room 101 is where members are invited to present items that they wish to be shot to bits, present their case and then we vote to shoot it. So, in no particular order … (the picture on the left side is before it’s shot, the one on the right is after it’s shot).
A DVD player put up by Mark that represents the copy protection film “You wouldn’t steal a handbag …” that appears on UK rental films. Some discs even stop you from fast forwarding or skipping the warning and after the 3,211th time of hearing the music from it, well … the DVD player was unanimously voted to be shot to bits.
This one was put up by Le Chat and it’s mushrooms. Horrible slimy things he says that even when you ask pubs and restaurants to remove them still end up on your plate. With a slight modification to his case to include pubs and restaurants that don’t remove from your plate things that even if you tell them you’ll die if you eat them, mushrooms were happily shot.
This one was from Helen and it’s Partial Differentiation. “Partial what?” said the Companions. “Maths” said Helen. Partial Differentiation was quickly killed.
Dave A. (aka Dangerous Dave) put up onions as his most disliked food and opinion was very much against shooting such a beloved vegetable that gave us the wonder that is the fried onion ring. That was until Dave said they also represented the French. Onions were then dispatched. (Sorry French readers!)
Fred brought along this cute and cuddly Frog toy for his Archery Room 101. His case consisted of two words—”The French”. The Frog toy was then repeatedly shot even after falling to the ground. (Sorry again French readers!)
Alina does not like road works, especially ones on the M4 and so her Room 101 item was a traffic cone. Now traffic cones are quite tough so it was decided to turn it upside down and indirect shoot to see if we could drop an arrow into the cone bit. Sadly everyone missed . We had another go though (see last picture down at the bottom).
This one was from Jenni who has been getting a bit of bother from Recruitment Agencies. Apart from Fred (who has a daughter who’d run a recruitment agency) all the Companions were more than happy to help Jenni out and slay Recruitment Agencies (except the ones that Jenni found helpful who are missing from her collage)!
Cheap toys was Mark’s bugbear who offered up this “Wendy House” for the Companions. It supposedly folds up into a handy store away size said the instructions—”no it doesn’t,” says Mark, “it twists in your hands like snake and then pops up to it’s original shape. Please kill it.” You’ll notice it now has a window, a square door, a round backdoor and about sixty arrow holes. Nice one.
This one was back from last year and it was Alina’s computer. Not content with shooting holes in it last time she wanted the other side to get killed due to the fact that computers always stop working when you most need them. Who hasn’t had the egg timer from hell? (Shut up you Mac users).
Finally here’s the traffic cone after being shot directly down the cone bit. Surprisingly there was only one broken arrow in this little cluster. I think it’s clear that a great aid to shooting accurately is to set one of these up in front of the bulls eye… So that’s our second Archery Room 101. It was –2 degrees last Saturday so we started to flag a bit come midday. As a result we decided that there’ll be another Archery Room 101 in a couple of months when it’ll be a bit warmer. Hurrah! Start getting your cheap tat and rubbish together for next time...
And Finally As always … got a suggestion or question for the club (or committee)? Send it to suggestions@companionsofthelongbow.com or send them direct to any of the committee members e-mail address (see Contact Uspage for these). There’s also a Suggestions Box in the first shed at the Roundel. It’s tucked in on the right hand side of the door, is blue and is marked “Suggestions Box”.
