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Archer’s Excuses

We've all come up with a good excuse as to why our arrows haven't quite hit what we've been aiming at.  So collected here are a few that have been over heard.

Hopefully one day we'll number them to make the ultimate list of Companions of the Longbow archer's excuses and then we can chime the numbers out in unison whenever a forgetful archer accidentally utters them (or maybe not).

If you've heard some more send them via e-mail to webmaster@companionsofthelongbow.com

1. That was a ranging shot.

2. My bracing height needs adjusting.

3. The wind kicked up at the last second.

4. The wind dropped at the last second.

5. The distance to the target is very deceptive.

6. The shooting line is further away than last week.

7. I haven't been able to practise for ages because of work commitments / home life commitments / garden too short / no garden / nothing to shoot at / no arrows / no bow / the dog ate my homework / alien invasion.

8. I've practised too much and now my fingers are red raw and look like corned beef.

9. I'm tired.

10. I've got a new shooting glove/tab and I'm not used to it yet.

11. My hair/jacket/sleeve/twig/branch/chest caught on my bow string.

12. That arrow and it was too heavy/too light/bent.

13. I bought these arrows from eBay.

14. I've just put a new nocking point on my string and I'm just getting used to it.

15. I've got a new bowstring and I'm shooting it in.

16. I've got a new bow and I'm shooting it in.

17. My nocks need adjusting.

18. My fletchings are too water logged.

19. Andrew was putting me off.

20. I'm practising the V-draw with slashing release.

21. I'm rubbish.

22. I’ve got a splinter from the target stand.

23. The sun was in my eyes.

24. I’ve not warmed up properly.

25. Minor earthquake caused my foot to slip.

26. A bug flew into my eye.

27. I had a muscle spasm due to my Tourette's, and I'm a little sensitive about it if you don't mind.

28. You're not pulling the string on the quintaine at an even rate.

29. A duck quacked and put me off.

30. It’s Bob’s fault [...for teaching me x,y,z...]

31. I’ve lost a contact lens.

32. DO I LOOK LIKE I’M READY!

33. It's too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too sunny, it’s too wet.

34. I've got sun burnt arms/legs/face/head/feet.

35. None of my arrows are the same.

36. I missed target deliberately because I didn't want to break my arrows.

37. It was the sun cream on my hand that made the bow slip...

38. My arrow hit the same branch as your arrow but went in a different direction for some reason.

39. Taking the advanced archery class has confused me!

40. I couldn't concentrate because I was being videoed.

41. I couldn't see properly because my hood was in the way.

42. Someone else's arrow was in the way.

43. The different wind factor made it much harder to shoot the left target than the right one.

44. We're too CLOSE to the target ...

45. Target? What target?? Oh, that dot in the distance over there ...

46. These medieval arrow heads are too heavy!

47. My trousers keep falling down/my underpants are on back to front.

48. My arrows aren’t pointy enough.

49. My stomach was rumbling.

50. I’ve got mud on my fingers.

51. The target moved!

52. This is not my bow I’m shooting with.

53. The rain has fogged up my glasses.

54. I couldn’t nock my arrow because my mouth was full of chocolate!

55. I was distracted by 2 flies mating on my arm.

56. The donkey ee-yorring put me off.

57. It was too dark with my sunglasses on.

58. My arrows have got wonky-supermarket-trolley-wheel-syndrome (they keep veering off to the left).

59. I’m not used to shooting with so few clothes on (Helen on shooting in jeans & T-shirt rather than a medieval dress).

60. I missed because my phone vibrated in my pocket.

61. Hail hit me in the face.

62. Hail knocked my arrow off.

63. The target was in the wrong place.

64. All of the above, all of the time