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© Companions of the Longbow
Robin Hood Goofs - Episode 10
Episode 10 "Peace? Off!"
When a Saracen guest is revealed to be staying at Nottingham Castle, some of Robin's men believe he is a sorcerer, the Sheriff thinks he has a hostage and the Saracens themselves think he must be killed.
Harold – The Wonder Years
Harold is the name given to character Robin rescues from some villagers, as Harold has gone crazy and has tried to burn a church down. The character of Harold is played by an actor called Rhys Meredith who bears more than a passing resemblance to the character Tim Bisley (played by Simon Pegg who’s stars the films Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz) from the 1990’s Channel 4 sitcom Spaced. I was half expecting him to actually be Tim Bisley who has become so fanboy incensed with the show he’s decided to burn all the sets down. But anyway …
Harold is suffering from a number of ailments. The first of which is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from fighting in the Crusades (if only he had a priest to talk to and salve his conscience …) The second is being forced into wearing camouflage pattern combat trousers by the wardrobe department because, you know, he’s an ex-soldier. The third is that he was captured by a secret Saracen sect of assassins, tortured, tattooed and driven mad. The weird thing is the secret Saracen sect of assassins, (which presumably were based on the Hashshashin, which is where we get the modern word “assassin” from) trained Harold up in the ways of Kung Fu before releasing him. This was a seriously bad mistake on their part seeing as he takes on and beats four secret Saracen sect of assassin lady ninjas in the last scenes of this show (try repeating that line three times quickly). Talk about shooting yourself in the foot sect of assassins! I wonder what the original thinking behind that was?
Harold – I know Kung Fu
OK, so Harold gets to take on and beat four Secret Saracen sect of assassin lady ninjas in the final scenes of the show. He even gets to do his own multi-angle slow motion flip leap off a platform which has previously been Robin Hood’s party piece. So he’s pretty hard core. So how come at the beginning of the show a bunch of pitchfork wielding peasants capture him and got to dunk his head in the village pond?
The Prince Malik Conundrum
Prince Malik, who is the brother of Saladin, has come to England to broker peace. The big question is why and how did he end up in Nottingham alone. Its far north of London where he knows Prince John is and he hasn’t got any servants with him. He would far more likely to have arrived via ship or a boat anyway as the roads couldn’t be relied on during the winter months and there are of course outlaws every where! The obvious explanation is that the original draft of the script had him ship wrecked near Nottingham, until someone noticed that Nottingham isn’t anywhere near the sea…
The Acupuncture Mask
So the Merry Men find in Prince Malik’s wrecked cart a scary pin encrusted mask which freaks Little John out big style. This is because it looks like the death mask of Pinhead from the 1987 film Hellraiser. What do they do with? Put it in a sack? Throw it away? Leave it behind? No. They hang it up in the camp and set a spot light under it so that it really looks scary. Anyway it turns out it’s nothing to worry about. It’s a Saracen acupuncture mask. Only how would an acupuncture mask work when everybody has a different sized face and head? Wouldn’t the needles miss the acupuncture points?
Secret Saracen Sect of Assassin Lady Ninjas
Worth mentioning because (a) they twirl and spin swords around their heads wherever they walk anywhere, presumably because Nottingham has got a midge problem and (b) they wear
matching flared powder blue 1970’s cat suits. Hello, this is 1975 calling, Margo Leadbetter wants her outfit back because Tom and Barbara Good are coming round for a dinner party.
Robin Goes Killy Again
Robin breaks his own rule about killing again this week. The thing is (a) he shoots someone in the back, (b) it’s to save the sheriff’s life and (c) Robin doesn’t appear in the least bit bothered about this lapse in his moral code.